If you thought the Tanners had a hard time at public school then I think you should look into Aunt Becky's dark past. This week we learn about The New Kids.

Jon and Chris were very warm one day and so naturally they hopped a hang glider and found love in an Australian police station. And this is that bodice-ripping novella!

The Critter ball rolls onward towards the inevitable non-conclusion of the Critter franchise. Critters ATTACK!

Remember that vacation you loved.. you had a great condo, the scenery was fantastic and you found some lost treasure? That was awesome! Wouldn't it be fun to do that again but without most of the people that went with you? Exactly! It's time for the L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach

Jon Rankings

Savage Beach (-) > Hard Ticket to Hawaii (-) > Do or Die (-) > Fit To Kill (+3) > Hard Hunted (+1) > Enemy Gold (+2) > L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach (-) > Picasso Trigger (+1) > The Dallas Connection (-4) > Day of the Warrior (-6) > Guns (-1) > Malibu Express (-1)

Chris Rankings

Savage Beach (-) > Hard Ticket to Hawaii (-) > Do or Die (+1) > Hard Hunted (+3) > Fit to Kill (+3) > Enemy Gold (-) > L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach (-) > The Dallas Connection (-5) > Picasso Trigger (-) > Day of the Warrior (-5) > Guns (-1) > Malibu Express (-1)

It's Critters IV and so we're in space! Put your stomach staples back in and suit up its time for some non-offensive boobery and ball based puppets.

Side Slop is time traveling all the way from March of 2020 to untangle the time-knot that is the terminator franchise. Join Jon and Special Guest Jason as they finally... for good... for keeps... no take backs... finally... kill John Connor.

This time we finally find out WTF L.E.T.H.A.L. means!

Savage Beach (-) > Hard Ticket to Hawaii (-) > Do or Die (+1) > Day of the Warrior (-) > The Dallas Connection (-1) > Hard Hunted (+2) > Fit to Kill (+1) > Enemy Gold (-3) > Picasso Trigger (-) > Guns (-4) > Malibu Express (-1)

Chris Rankings:

Savage Beach (-) > Hard Ticket to Hawaii (-) > The Dallas Connection (-) > Do or Die (-) > Day of the Warrior (-) > Enemy Gold (-) > Hard Hunted (-) > Fit to Kill (-) > Picasso Trigger (-4) > Guns (-1) > Malibu Express (-1)

This time, don't even try and pay us because we don't get paid to take out the garbage! That's right film freaks Special Guest Mack and Jon are getting a Blackbelt and sharing it. Check it out!

Jon and Chris examine the importance of Zip disks this week on The Dallas Connection.

Jon Rankings:

Savage Beach > Hard Ticket to Hawaii > The Dallas Connection (-) > Do or Die (-1) > Enemy Gold (-1) > Guns (-1) > Hard Hunted (-) > Fit to Kill (-) > Picasso Trigger (-3) > Malibu Express (-1)

Chris Rankings:

Savage Beach > Hard Ticket to Hawaii > The Dallas Connection (-) > Do or Die (+1) > Picasso Trigger (+1) > Enemy Gold (-1) > Hard Hunted (-4) > Fit to Kill (-1) > Guns (-1) > Malibu Express (-1)

Get ready for your favorite dish to share with friends! Surge basted glass noodles shaped like a hairball. That's right! We're chowing down on a Critter ball... specifically Critters 3!

This week Jon and Chris call in an emotional support Zac and boy do they need it! Join us as we fail to understand who the titular enemy is in Enemy Gold.

Jon Rankings:

Savage Beach > Hard Ticket to Hawaii > Do or Die > Enemy Gold (-1) > Guns (-1) > Picasso Trigger (-1) > Hard Hunted (-1) > Fit to Kill (-1) > Malibu Express (-1)

Chris Rankings:

Savage Beach > Hard Ticket to Hawaii > Hard Hunted (+1) > Enemy Gold (-1) > Do or Die (-2) > Picasso Trigger (-1) > Fit to Kill (-1) > Guns (-1) > Malibu Express (-1)

Zac Rankings:

Savage Beach > Enemy Gold > Malibu Express

Jon and Chris have always believed there is nothing better then a good old fashioned Vanity project! And it is with that spirit that we dive into the John Stamos cult classic Never Too Young to Die!

A very special goodbye for a beloved member of the Extended Hawaii-verse. This time farewell to Donna.

Chris Rankings:

Savage Beach > (-) Hard Ticket to Hawaii > (+2) Do or Die > (-1) Hard Hunted > (-1) Picasso Trigger > Fit to Kill > (-1) Guns > (-1) Malibu Express

Jon Rankings:

Savage Beach > (-) Hard Ticket to Hawaii > (-) Do or Die > (+2) Guns > (-1) Picasso Trigger > (-2) Hard Hunted > Fit to Kill > (-1) Malibu Express

What makes a great video game movie? Heap on the style and and delete the video game portion! Find out why that statement is relevant to John Wick 3 as Jon and Special Guest Jason have their soft parts attacked by John Wick Chapter 3 - Parabellum!

Jason takes Jon to the land of babies... and somehow everyone survived! Join us at the animated amusement park that is Bébé’s Kids!

Kane is back.. in time apparently. As a much younger, more handsome but significantly less interesting version of himself and he is here to finish what he started! And by finish I mean start a whole new plan with his whole new face! This time Jon and Chris dodge errant missiles ejected from the action epic Hard Hunted!

Chris Rankings:

Savage Beach > (+1) Hard Ticket to Hawaii > Do or Die > (-1) Picasso Trigger > (-1) Guns > (-1) Malibu Express

Jon Rankings:

Savage Beach > Hard Ticket to Hawaii > Do Or Die > (-1) Guns> (-1) Picasso Trigger > (-1) Malibu Express

Deep in the sea there is a monster hiding in the most unlikely place... Hiding under 10 million pounds of pressure... in a boat... with a safe... in a bottle... of triple distilled horror. Leviathan will haunt you until you only have 5 minutes of the movie left. This week Jon and Jason take a break from their normal routine to examine the Leviathan.

This week Jon and Chris are ready to "Do" or to "Die"! In our case we "Did" a commentary track for the Andy Sidaris movie Do or Die starring the Legendary Skip Ward and a Man of normal renowned Pat Morita! In case you're not interested in our live reactions to Do or Die then skip ahead to 1 hr 37 minutes 15 seconds and hear our post-watch breakdown which approximates a normal discussion of an abnormal film.

Chris Rankings:

Savage Beach > (+1) Hard Ticket to Hawaii > Do or Die > (-1) Picasso Trigger > (-1) Guns > (-1) Malibu Express

Jon Rankings:

Savage Beach > Hard Ticket to Hawaii > Do Or Die > (-1) Guns> (-1) Picasso Trigger > (-1) Malibu Express

BQ Funk came to the studio to lay down some bottom heavy tracks for us as we look at Resident Evil and debate if it has the pocket with which to hold a groove.... funk. Check it out!

Erik Estrada is the Jack of Diamonds and he is taking on the dangerous and perennially named Donna.. Donna Hamilton. This weeks journey into the wonderland that can only be described as the Bizarro-Lewis Carroll-Verse... errr The Extended Hawaii-verse..... as Chris and Jon sit down for Guns

Chris Rankings:

Savage Beach > (+1) Hard Ticket to Hawaii > (-1) Picasso Trigger > Guns > Malibu Express

Jon Rankings:

Savage Beach > Hard Ticket to Hawaii > Guns> Picasso Trigger > Malibu Express

Peter Joins us for the 2nd time and Boots is back for the 3rd officially making him the She of this episode. That's right. Bill's return signals only one thing... its time to dive into the psyche of Francesco as we sift through the slightly morbid, moderately comical and highly surreal film that is Cemetery Man.

Jon and Chris are back to examine the watch-checking-fury that is Picasso Trigger... a late night sleaze fest that teases its viewers with educational nature trivia. Join us as we investigate the intrepid "Picasso Trigger" fish.

Chris Rankings: Savage Beach > Picasso Trigger > (-1) Hard Ticket to Hawaii > (-1) Malibu Express

Jon Rankings: Savage Beach > Hard Ticket to Hawaii > Picasso Trigger > (-1) Malibu Express

If Tremors and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes got busy and a made a furry monster baby... and that little jerk is hungry. That baby would be named Critters 2: The Main Course

Jon and Chris are back to attack the animals-gone-mad action epic super spy spectacular that took 1987 by storm... that's right! A Hard Ticket to Hawaii has been bought and we're about to take that ride! Let's see how they've charted this short jaunt by light aircraft!

Chris Rankings: Savage Beach > Hard Ticket to Hawaii > (-1) Malibu Express

Jon Rankings: Savage Beach > Hard Ticket to Hawaii > (-1) Malibu Express

At the intersection of Dance, Prog Rock and Horror sits a lonely figure. His name is Fulci and he is ready to party. This week Jon is joined by the infamous Peter of Peter's Movy Nites fame to have a shared hallucination guided by "Brujo" Fulci who oversees as they bask on the Murder Rock and let its psychedelic fumes over take them.

Jason and Guest Mack of Super Movie Ball fame dive into the 2017 Remake of Stephen King's classic It. A film renowned mostly for having a title that is too short and for ruining clowns for a generation.

We're back in for a very special Inaugural 2nd episode of the Extended Hawaii-Verse. After having stepped in it with our episode Savage Beach we're now all in and ready to find out how you could possibly make a 12 movie series out of the following ingredients. 1) Girls 2) Guns and 3) G-Strings. Perhaps one day we will try out a version with 1) Bullets 2) Blondes and 3)Bombshells.... onward we go to bake ourselves a sleaze-soufflé!

Chris Rankings: (+1) Savage Beach > Malibu Express

Jon Rankings: (+1) Savage Beach > Malibu Express

On a very special Side Slop Jon and Jason finally meet. It's like Cinema Slop has all been one long time travel episode of Doctor Who and we just finally were introduced after a years long romance. If that sort of sentimentality doesn't get you in the cockles... Wait! There's more! We also bring in Special guest Alisa. Her official duties as Jason's wife make the aforementioned romantic rendezvous a little awkward but to break up the tension we played Critter-ball. It's like soccer in that you try to kick the small round thing and Jon is bad at it!

What do you get when you let the heavy metal obsessed shit-kicker-in-cheif Boots get ahold of the remote? You end up watching the heavy metal fantasy fusion exploitation rock opera Mandy starring Nicholas Cage. Join Jon, Boots and Mack as they verbally sift through this cinematic psychedelic soup.

Hush. It's not just a thing you say to babies anymore its also a home invasion horror movie that is inconsiderately telling a deaf woman to shut up with its title. In todays Side Slop special Guest Boots invades Jon's home movie watching habits to force Jon to use a Netflix. The results are messy and chaotic and theres a lot of messing with the clicker. Check it out.

Jon said to Jason one too many times "thats a Giallo thing" so now were gonna do a Giallo! In this weeks Side Slop we check out Suspiria a movie where a dance maverick uses her dance skills to buzz the witchy-tower of the stuffy dean. Thats close enough. Find out what Suspiria is all about at the same time as Jason. Check it out.

On this weeks Side Slop... Do you like James Bond? Of course you do! Do you like "Skin Flicks"? Naturally! Do you also lack discernment? Absolutely, you listen to Cinema Slop! Join Jon and our intrepid guest Chris as they take a trip to Savage Beach. Don't let the name fool you its actually quite nice and not very threatening.

Welcome to our first tangent! This Episode is a stand alone fun time review of Pacific Rim Uprising with Special Guest Jason. Sit back and enjoy the no-notes post-theatrical viewing reaction of two guys in a hotel room. It's not that sexy but its still a fun time.